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Romana · pipika Pridružen/-a: 19.08. 2007, 15:48 Prispevkov: 1076

- Bolan, Ibro, jesi l' čuo da je Mujina Fata umrla od radijacije?
- Kako, bolan, od radijacije?
- Ubio je Mujo radijatorom.

Zašto Mujo ima seksi pogled?
Zato što je glup kô kurac!

Dođe Mujo kod doktora i požali se: Doktore, kašljem, kišem, jedva dišem.
Pita ga doktor:
- Da li vam je neko u familiji imao TBC? -
- Nije, ali je amidža Suljo imao BMW -.

Pita Mujo Fatu:
- Fato, jesam li ti prvi?
- Može biti, nešto si mi poznat.

Došla Fata Muji u bolnicu i kaže:
- Da čuješ, Mujo, šta mi se sad desilo: ušla ja u taksi i kad sam stigla do
bolnice, vidim da sam zaboravila novčanik. Taksista mi reče: ili oralni seks
ili da mu otpevam neku pesmu.
Pita Mujo: - Pa koju si mu otpevala? -
A Fata će:
- E, moj Mujo, zar ti misliš da je meni do pesme dok si ti u bolnici?! -

Veli doktor Muji:
- Morate dati uzorak krvi, stolice, urina i sperme.
Mujo će:
- Evo ti, bolan, gaća, tu ti je sve!

Pita Haso Muju:
- Mujo, znaš li ti ko je Mocart?
- Ne. Ko ti je taj - upita Mujo.
- To ti je onaj što piše melodije za naše Nokije -.

Pita Fata Muju:
- Mujo, šta je to situacija?
- Recimo, ti kažeš da ideš na nedelju dana kod majke, a vratiš se kroz tri
dana i zatekneš mene sa drugom ženskom u krevetu - to ti je situacija.
- To je, znači, isto kao kad bi ti rekao da ideš na pecanje na ceo dan, a
vratiš se kroz nekoliko sati i zatekneš mene i Hasu u krevetu?
- Ne, Fato, nemoj da mešaš situaciju sa batinama -.

Romana · pipika Pridružen/-a: 19.08. 2007, 15:48 Prispevkov: 1076

Kaj je optimizem? Ko vidiš klošarja v parku, ki bere revijo Moj dom!

Kaj je predrznost? Če ubiješ starše in na sodišču prosiš za pomilostitev, ker si sirota.

Zakaj se blondinka, ko hujša, maže s PRILOM?

Ker je odličen v boju z maščobo.

Kakšna je razlika med Hitlerjem in pralnim strojem? Hitler je imel še program za obešanje.

Policaj vpraša policaja: "kerga smo dons?" Policaj pa odgovori: "dons nismo še nobenga!"

Kaj dela blondinka, ko ima uho prislonjeno na hišo?

Posluša house music.

Se sprehaja želva po cesti, pa jo oropa 12 polžev.

Pride policija.

Želva: Joj, se ničesar ne spomnim, je potekalo vse tako hitro ...

Gresta dva klošarja v park, pa prvi vpraša:

"Imaš zraven star kruh za golobe?"......

..... "Ne, jaz jih jem kar brez kruha!"

Grejo 3 muhe v gostilno.Pa prva naroči drek pa česen, druga naroči drek pa čebulo, tretja pa pravi, da bo samo drek, da ji ne bo iz ust smrdelo.

Kako spoznaš ženina na bosanski ohceti? Med vsemi ima najlepšo trenirko.

Ježek jezen in žalosten, s solzami v očeh leze s krtače in toži: "Vsak se lahko zmoti, prav vsak!! "

Pride prva riba pa reče:"glu", pride druga riba pa reče:"glu", pa pride tretja pa pravi:"glu glu", pa ji reče prva:" ne kompliciraj!"

Dihur vpraša ježka: "Sem kosmat, imam dve beli črti in smrdim. Kdo sem?"

" ČEFUR!" , odgovori ježek.

Kaj je rekla blondinka, ko so ji rekli, da ima v glavi vakuum? Bolje to kot nič!

Pride blondinka v trgovino:

B: Kilo kruha prosim !

P: črnega ali belega ?

B: Ni važno, saj sem s kolesom !

Policaj pride v picerijo in naroci pico ? Natakar vprasa: "Vam jo razrezem na 4 ali 8 kosov ?" "Kar na 4, 8 jih ne bom mogel pojesti."

Kdo je izumil triatlon?-CIGANI

Zakaj? Ko se grejo kopat, pridejo peš, nazaj pa grejo s kolesom.

Je srečal Mujo nuno v Trstu in jo je pretepel do daske!

Potem ji je rekel:''kaj je nindža, a nisi v formi danes???

Katera so najhujša tri leta v življenju povprečnega črnogorca ?

Prvi razred osnovne šole.

pipika · pipika Pridružen/-a: 17.08. 2007, 16:55 Prispevkov: 1962

ehe ehehe ehehe jumpy

... ojooj... jssebonukiklo... ucen

krjavelj · Objavljeno: Nedelja 09 Sep 2007 20:56 Naslov sporočila:

krjavelj · Objavljeno: Nedelja 09 Sep 2007 21:36 Naslov sporočila:

What's your religion?

I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. I immediately ran over and said "Stop! Don't do it!"

"Why shouldn't I?" he said.

I said, "Well, there's so much to live for!"

"Like what?"

"Well ... are you religious or atheist?"

"Religious."

"Me too! Are you Christian or Jewish?"

"Christian."

"Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant?"

"Protestant."

"Me too! Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?"

"Baptist."

"Wow! Me too! Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord?"

"Baptist Church of God."

"Me too! Are you Original Baptist Church of God, or are you Reformed Baptist Church of God?"

"Reformed Baptist Church of God."

"Me too! Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915?"

"Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915!"

To which I said, "Die, heretic scum!" and pushed him off.

Romana · pipika Pridružen/-a: 19.08. 2007, 15:48 Prispevkov: 1076

pixie · Objavljeno: Ponedeljek 10 Sep 2007 12:49 Naslov sporočila:

For his birthday, little Joe asked for a 10-speed bicycle. His father said: 'Son, we'd give you one, but the mortgage on this house is $280,000 & your mother just lost her job. There's no way we can afford
it.'

The next day the father saw little Joe heading out the front door with
a suitcase. So he asked: 'Son, where are you going?'

Little Joe told him:
'I was walking past your room last night and heard you telling Mom you
were pulling out.Then I heard her tell you to wait because she was
coming too. And I'll be damned if I'm staying here by myself with a
$280,000 mortgage & no bike.'

krjavelj · Objavljeno: Ponedeljek 10 Sep 2007 13:03 Naslov sporočila:

THE ATHEIST

An atheist was taking a walk through the woods, admiring all that the
"accident of evolution" had created. "What majestic trees! What powerful
rivers! What beautiful animals!", he said to himself.

As he was walking alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes
behind. As he turned to look, he saw a 7-foot grizzly charge towards him.

He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder and
saw that the bear was closing in on him. He tried to run even faster, so
scared that tears were coming to his eyes. He looked over his shoulder
again and the bear was even closer. His heart was pumping frantically as
he tried to run even faster, but he tripped and fell on the ground. He
rolled over to pick himself up and saw the bear right on top of him
raising his paw to kill him.

At that instant he cried out "Oh my God!" Just then, time stopped.
The bear froze, the forest was silent, the river even stopped moving.

A bright light shone upon the man, and a voice came out of the sky saying,
"You deny my existence all of these years, teach others I don't exist and
even credit my creation to a cosmic accident and now do you expect me to
help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?"

The atheist, ever prideful, looked into the light and said "it would be
rather hypocritical to ask to be a Christian after all these years, but
could you make the bear a Christian?"

"Very well", said the voice. As the light went out, the river ran, the
sounds of the forest continued and the bear put his paw down.

The bear then brought both paws together, bowed his head and said, "Lord I
thank you for this food which I am about to receive.

mikey · pipika Pridružen/-a: 19.08. 2007, 16:24 Prispevkov: 323

Romana · pipika Pridružen/-a: 19.08. 2007, 15:48 Prispevkov: 1076

Duhovnik iz male slovenske vasi je bil velik ljubitelj ptic, ki jih
je skrbno čuval v kletki za cerkvijo. Neko nedeljsko jutro je ob
običajnem sprehodu med perjad opazil, da je izginil njegov najlepši
ptič in ker je vedel da ga je moral ukrasti nekdo tik pred mašo, se
je odločil nagovoriti svoje vernike.
"Kdo ima tiča?!"
Vstali so vsi moški.
"Ne, nisem mislil tako. Je kdo videl tiča?"
Vstale so vse ženske.
"Ne, ne, tudi tega nisem mislil. Je kdo videl tiča, ki mu ne pripada?"
Vstala je polovica žensk.
"Neeee, ne in ne, mislil sem ali je kdo videl MOJEGA tiča?"
Vstali so ministranti, dva duhovnika in koza.
"Neee mislil sem ali ima kdo zdaj tiča v rokah?
Vstala je punca v zadnji klopi in rekla fantu. "Sem ti rekla da bo videl"

Romana · pipika Pridružen/-a: 19.08. 2007, 15:48 Prispevkov: 1076

Mozakar gre k zdravniku, da si naredi HIV test; Izpolni vprasalnik in da kri.
Cez nekaj dni pride po rezultate in vprasa zdravnika:
- No, g.doktor, kaksni so moji rezultati ?
- Imam za vas slabo novico, testi so pozitivni.
Mozakar je v soku in zeli vedeti, ce resnicno ne obstaja zdravilo, ki bi ga pozdravilo.
Doktor: Tu navajate, da ste homoseksualec ?!
- Ja, res je.
Doktor: No to je bilo pricakovati. Ampak imam za vas pomoc. Vzamite 2 litra mleka, pustite ga 2 dni na soncu in ga potem spijte skupaj s 3 pokvarjenimi jajci,
1/2 kg pokvarjenega zelja in poplaknite z litrom kefirja. To delajte 20 dni zaporedoma in velika verjetnost je, da ostanete zivi !!!
Mozakar se zahvali in pohiti domov, da bi si pripravil "zdravilo".
Po njegovem odhodu sestra vprasa doktorja:
- G. doktor, zakaj mu niste povedali resnice, da so testi negativni?
- Da bo vedel, zakaj se uporablja rit, buzerant neumni !!!!!

matiček mate · pipika Pridružen/-a: 17.08. 2007, 22:19 Prispevkov: 2397

Kakšna je razlika med Goodyearom in 365 kondomi?

Goodyear je samo Goodyear, 365 kondomov je pa Verygoodyear.

pipika · pipika Pridružen/-a: 17.08. 2007, 16:55 Prispevkov: 1962

pixie · Objavljeno: Sreda 12 Sep 2007 19:56 Naslov sporočila:

Golf club

This sign was posted at a local golf club:
1. Back straight, knees bent, feet shoulder width apart
2. Form a loose grip
3. Keep your head down
4. Avoid a quick backswing
5. Stay out of the water
6. Try not to hit anyone
7. If you are taking too long, please let others go ahead of you
8. Don't stand directly in front of others
9. Quiet please... while others are preparing to go
10. Don't take extra strokes

Well done. Now flush the urinal. Go outside and tee off!

pixie · Objavljeno: Sobota 15 Sep 2007 21:07 Naslov sporočila:

Sunday School

Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, ''Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?'' When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. ''God Almighty !'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good'' and Mary fell back to sleep.

A while later the teacher asked Mary, ''Who is our Lord and Savior?'' But Mary didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. ''Jesus Christ!'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good,'' and Mary fell back to sleep. Then the teacher asked Mary a third question, ''What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?'' And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time Mary jumped up and shouted, ''If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!'' The Teacher fainted.

set · pipika Pridružen/-a: 20.08. 2007, 13:39 Prispevkov: 2474

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gpCMlc2o2kQ

set · pipika Pridružen/-a: 20.08. 2007, 13:39 Prispevkov: 2474

Po romanticnam veceru:
ONA: Ok, dragi, samo se en poljub, in ostanem tvoja celo zivljenje!
ON: Hvala za opozorilo.....

Parcek med sexsom:
ONA: Oh...jaaaaa...ohhh...jaaaaaa....govori mi umazane stvari......
ON: Kuhinja, kopalnica, dnevna soba, avto.......

V avtu:
Kaj pokaze moski zenski, ki je 10 let vozila brez nesrece?
2. prestavo.......

set · pipika Pridružen/-a: 20.08. 2007, 13:39 Prispevkov: 2474

Vprašanje:

Kaj je GLOBALIZACIJA?

Odgovor :

Smrt Princese Diane.

Vprašanje:

Kakšno vezo ima princesa Diana z GLOBALIZACIJO?

Odgovor:

Bila je Princesa, ki je bila ločena z ANGLEŽEM

zaročena z EGIPČANOM in je imela

prometno nesrečo v FRANCOSKEM tunelu z

NEMŠKIM avtomobilom, ki ga je poganjal

NIZOZEMSKI motor, vozil pa ga je

pijani BELGIJEC, ki se je

v ARABSKEM hotelu

napil ŠKOTSKEGA viskija, varjenega

na IRSKEM, sledili pa so mu

ITALIJANSKI parapazzi na

JAPONSKIH motorjih.Dianino življenje

je poskušal rešiti KANADSKI zdravnik, ki

je uporabljal BRAZILSKE medicinske aparate.

To vam pošilja SLOVENEC, ki uporablja

AMERIŠKO (Bill Gates-ovo) tehnologijo.To sporoèilo

verjetno prebirate s pomočjo računalnika, ki ima TAJVANSKI

procesor, gledate v KOREJSKI monitor, ki ga

je sestavila poceni delovna sila BANGLADEŠA,

ki je zaposlena v SINGAPURJU. Roba je bila

nato transportirana z INDIJSKIM transportom,

nato z INDONEZIJSKIMI ladjami do

SICILIJE. Končno pa je robo do vas

pripeljal SRB, ki je

emigriral iz BOSNE.

Torej...

To je pravi pomen GLOBALIZACIJE :)

set · pipika Pridružen/-a: 20.08. 2007, 13:39 Prispevkov: 2474

Po maši k župniku prihajajo farani, mu podajo roko in se mu lepo zahvalijo.

Pristopi tudi lepo oblečen možak in reče: "Gospod župnik - za popizdit dobro pridigo ste imeli !"

"Me veseli, da vam je bila všeč, vendar bi vas prosil, da takih besed ne uporabljate, ker se to v cerkvi ne spodobi."

"Kakorkoli že," nadaljuje možakar, "vaša pridiga mi je bila tako všeč, da sem vam fuknil 100 evrov v puš''co."

"Ma ne me jebat !" odvrne na to župnik.

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Domene | Spletno gostovanje | Reseller gostovanje | EMAIL gostovanje
SSL certifikati | Spletne aplikacije na klik | Brezplačna spletna stran (Website Builder) | WordPress gostovanje
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