Domene | Spletno gostovanje | Reseller gostovanje | EMAIL gostovanje
SSL certifikati | Spletne aplikacije na klik | Brezplačna spletna stran (Website Builder) | WordPress gostovanje
Spletne strani, brezplačna izdelava in namestitev | Poceni letalske karte | Letalske karte | Poceni hoteli

cr · pipika Pridružen/-a: 17.08. 2007, 22:25 Prispevkov: 3305

http://is1.okcupid.com/users/410/202/4102022445444324283/mt156454367.jpg

Hungry for knowledge in any internet forum, you demand decorum. Any off-topic remarks, absurd statements, or tomfoolery on the interweb is deeply frowned upon by you. Truth has no room for drollery.
_________________
________________
Every single Jedi is now the enemy of the Republic.

pipika · pipika Pridružen/-a: 17.08. 2007, 16:55 Prispevkov: 1962

ej folk, tamala se neki kisa... ji grem neki vzpodbudnga napisat tja, kjer še doseže videt na monitor
nod

oogabooga · pipika Pridružen/-a: 16.12. 2007, 13:50 Prispevkov: 1506

pipika, a lahk jaz tebe patentiram? upyeah

_________________
The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

pixie · Objavljeno: Sobota 19 Jan 2008 22:51 Naslov sporočila:

k smo že pr micah macah ... you must read this:

A Letter To The Cats

Dear Cats,
We need to talk.

When I say to move, it means go someplace else, not switch positions with each other so there are still two cats in the way.

The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help, because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king size bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue to sleep on the couch to ensure your comfort. Look at videos of cats sleeping; they can actually curl up in a ball. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible.

I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space used is nothing but feline sarcasm.

My compact discs are not toys for you and your friends to play with.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, try to turn the knob, or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. In addition, I have been using bathrooms for years and I know that feline attendance is not mandatory.

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough. It should be such a simple change for you.

Sincerely,
The Person Who Lives Here
(and buys your food)
_________________
Pixie is composed of Matter + Anti-Matter + It Doesn't Matter.

pixie · Objavljeno: Sobota 19 Jan 2008 23:23 Naslov sporočila:

BASIC RULES FOR CATS WHO HAVE A HOUSE TO RUN

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

** DOORS: Do not allow closed doors in any room. To get door opened, stand on hind legs and hammer with forepaws. Once door is opened, it is not necessary to use it. After you have ordered an "outside" door opened, stand halfway in and out and think about several things. This is particularly important during very cold weather, rain, snow, or mosquito season. Swinging doors are to be avoided at all costs.

** CHAIRS and RUGS: If you have to throw up, get to a chair quickly. If you cannot manage in time, get to an Oriental rug. If there is no Oriental rug, shag is good. When throwing up on the carpet, make sure you back up so that it is as long as the human's bare foot.

** BATHROOMS: Always accompany guests to the bathroom. It is not necessary to do anything -- just sit and stare.

** HAMPERING: If one of your humans is engaged in some close activity and the other is idle, stay with the busy one. This is called "helping", otherwise known as "hampering". Following are the rules for "hampering":

a) When supervising cooking, sit just behind the left heel of the cook. You
cannot be seen and thereby stand a better chance of being stepped on and then picked up and comforted.
b) For book readers, get in close under the chin, between eyes and book,
unless you can lie across the book itself.
c) For knitting projects or paperwork, lie on the work in the most appropriate manner so as to obscure as much of the work or at least the most important part. Pretend to doze, but every so often reach out and slap the pencil or knitting needles. The worker may try to distract you; ignore it. Remember, the aim is to hamper work. Embroidery and needlepoint projects make great hammocks in spite of what the humans may tell you.
d) For people paying bills (monthly activity) or working on income taxes or
Christmas cards (annual activity), keep in mind the aim -- to hamper! First, sit on the paper being worked on. When dislodged, watch sadly from the side of the table. When activity proceeds nicely, roll around on the papers, scattering them to the best of your ability. After being removed for the second time, push pens, pencils, and erasers off the table, one at a time.
e) When a human is holding the newspaper in front of him/her, be sure to
jump on the back of the paper. They love to jump too.

** WALKING: As often as possible, dart quickly and as close as possible in
front of the human, especially: on stairs, when they have something in their arms, in the dark, and when they first get up in the morning. This will help their coordination skills.

** BEDTIME: Always sleep on the human at night so s/he cannot move around.

** PLAY: This is an important part of your life. Get enough sleep in the
daytime so you are fresh for your nocturnal games. Below are listed several favorite cat games that you can play. It is important though to maintain one's Dignity at all times. If you should have an accident during play, such as falling off a chair, immediately wash a part of your body as if to say "I MEANT to do that!" It fools those humans every time.

CAT GAMES:

"Catch Mouse": The humans would have you believe that those lumps under the covers are their feet and hands. They are lying. They are actually Bed Mice, rumored to be the most delicious of all the mice in the world, though no cat
has ever been able to catch one. Rumor also has it that only the most ferocious attack can stun them long enough for you to dive under the covers to get them. Maybe YOU can be the first to taste the Bed Mouse!

"King of the Hill": This game must be played with at least one other cat.
The more, the merrier! One or both of the sleeping humans is Hill 303 which must be defended at all costs from the other cat(s). Anything goes. This game allows for the development of unusual tactics as one must take the unstable playing theater into account.

WARNING: Playing either of these games to excess will result in expulsion
from the bed and possibly from the bedroom. Should the humans grow restless, immediately begin purring and cuddle up to them.

This should buy you some time until they fall asleep again. If one happens
to be on a human when this occurs, this cat wins the round of King of the Hill.

TOYS:

Any small item is a potential toy. If a human tries to confiscate it, this
means that it is a Good Toy. Run with it under the bed. Look suitably
outraged when the human grabs you and takes it away.

Always watch where it is put so you can steal it later. Two reliable sources
of toys are dresser tops and wastebaskets. There are several types of cat
toys.

Bright shiny things like keys, brooches, or coins should be hidden so that
the other cat(s) or humans can't play with them. They are generally good for playing hockey with on uncarpeted floors.

Dangly and/or string-like things such as shoelaces, cords, gold chains, and
dental floss also make excellent toys. They are favorites of humans who like to drag them across the floor for us to pounce on. When a string is dragged under a newspaper or throw rug, it magically becomes the Paper/Rug Mouse and
should be killed at all costs. Take care, though. Humans are sneaky and will try to make you lose your Dignity.

** PAPER BAGS: within paper bags dwell the Bag Mice. They are small and camouflaged to be the same color as the bag, so they are hard to see. But you can easily hear the crinkling noises they make as they scurry around the bag. Anything, up to and including shredding the bag, can be done to kill them. Note: any other cat you may find in a bag hunting for Bag Mice is fair game for a Sneak Attack, which will usually result in a great Tag match.

** FOOD: In order to get the energy to sleep, play, and hamper, a cat must eat. Eating, however, is only half the fun. The other half is getting the food. Cats have two ways to obtain food: convincing a human you are starving to death and must be fed *NOW*; and hunting for it oneself. The following are guidelines for getting fed.

a) When the humans are eating, make sure you leave the tip of your tail in their dishes when they are not looking.
b) Never eat food from your own bowl if you can steal some from the table.
c) Never drink from your own water bowl if a human's glass is full enough to drink from.
d) Should you catch something of your own outside, it is only polite to
attempt to get to know it. Be insistent--your food will usually not be so
polite and try to leave.
e) Table scraps are delicacies with which the humans are unfortunately
unwilling to readily part. It is beneath the Dignity of a cat to beg
outright for food as lower forms of life such as dogs will, but several
techniques exist for ensuring that the humans don't forget you exist. These include, but are not limited to: jumping onto the lap of the "softest" human and purring loudly; lying down in the doorway between the dining room and the kitchen, the Direct Stare, and twining around people's legs as they sit and eat while meowing plaintively.

** SLEEPING: As mentioned above, in order to have enough energy for playing, a cat must get plenty of sleep. It is generally not difficult to find a
comfortable place to curl up. Any place a human likes to sit is good,
especially if it contrasts with your fur color.

If it's in a sunbeam or near a heating duct or radiator, so much the better.
Of course, good places also exist outdoors, but have the disadvantages of
being seasonal and dependent on current and previous weather conditions such as rain. Open windows are a good compromise.

** SCRATCHING POSTS: It is advised that cats use any scratching post the humans may provide. They are very protective of what they think is their property and will object strongly if they catch you sharpening your claws on it. Being sneaky and doing it when they aren't around won't help, as they are very observant. If you are an outdoor kitty, trees are good. Sharpening your claws on a human is a definite no-no!

** HUMANS: Humans have three primary functions: to feed us, to play with and give attention to us, and to clean the litter box. It is important to
maintain one's Dignity when around humans so that they will not forget who is the master of the house. Humans need to know basic rules. They can be taught if you start early and are consistent.

You will then have a smooth-running household.
_________________
Pixie is composed of Matter + Anti-Matter + It Doesn't Matter.

oogabooga · pipika Pridružen/-a: 16.12. 2007, 13:50 Prispevkov: 1506

Ta serija stripov verjetno najbolje povzame točno to, kakšne mačke so. Jaz se enim parim čisto vsakič nasmejim do solz.
_________________
The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

jakačan · Objavljeno: Nedelja 20 Jan 2008 18:25 Naslov sporočila:

jakačan · Objavljeno: Nedelja 20 Jan 2008 18:29 Naslov sporočila:

Začetek noči. Jaz grem ponavadi kasneje spat in Koko svoje prenočišče poišče najprej pri moji glavi, ker ve, da bo dobil konkretno dozo čohanja.

Nato želim zaspati in ne maram, da mačkon zaseda prostor, ki pripada meni. Idea

Poleg tega se preveč obračam, da bi dobil muc miren spanec.

Zato sledi strateški premik, ko se namesti k nogam moje drage:

Dobrodošli pri Jakačanovih ... Wink

jakačan · Objavljeno: Nedelja 20 Jan 2008 18:31 Naslov sporočila:

Zelo pogost prizor. Hoja po laptopih je očitno nekaterim v genih... Rolling Eyes

jakačan · Objavljeno: Nedelja 20 Jan 2008 18:35 Naslov sporočila:

Vprašanje: zakaj za vraga je mačkom v užitek spati na papirju? Ko berem časopis ali knjigo, VEDNO pribrzlja izza kakega ovinka in se napoka - ma, a ma direkt na sredino.

jakačan · Objavljeno: Nedelja 20 Jan 2008 18:39 Naslov sporočila:

Niti ne tako zelo prijeten občutek! Idea

jakačan · Objavljeno: Nedelja 20 Jan 2008 18:41 Naslov sporočila:

Don`t tell me about it... Rolling Eyes

pixie · Objavljeno: Nedelja 20 Jan 2008 18:58 Naslov sporočila:

oogabooga · pipika Pridružen/-a: 16.12. 2007, 13:50 Prispevkov: 1506

Meni je ta tak čisto mačja:

_________________
The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

oogabooga · pipika Pridružen/-a: 16.12. 2007, 13:50 Prispevkov: 1506

Še nekaj tipično mačjih:

Še posebej:

In moji najljubši:

_________________
The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

oogabooga · pipika Pridružen/-a: 16.12. 2007, 13:50 Prispevkov: 1506

MAČJI HAIKU

You never feed me.
Perhaps I'll sleep on your face.
That will show you.
--------
You must scratch me there!
Yes, above my tail! Behold,
elevator butt.
--------
I need a new toy.
Tail of black dog keeps good time.
Pounce! good dog! good dog!
--------
The rule for today.
Touch my tail, I shred your hand.
New rule tomorrow.
--------
In deep sleep hear sound
Cat vomit hairball somewhere.
Will find in morning.
--------
Grace personified
I leap into the window
I meant to do that
--------
Blur of motion, then-
Silence, me, a paper bag
What is so funny?
--------
The mighty hunter
Returns with gifts of plump birds
Your foot just squashed one.
--------
You're always typing
Well, let's see you ignore my
Sitting on your hands.
--------
My small cardboard box
You cannot see me if I
Can just hide my head.
--------
Terrible battle
I fought for hours. Come and see!
What's a "term paper"?
--------
Kitty likes plastic
Confuses for litter box
Don't leave tarp around
--------
Small brave carnivores
Kill pine cones and mosquitoes
Fear vacuum cleaner
--------
Want to trim my claws
Don't even think about it!
My yelps will wake the dead
--------
I want to be close
To you. Can I fit my head
inside your armpit?
--------
Wanna go outside.
Oh, no! Help! I got outside!
Let me back inside!
--------
Oh no! Big One
has been trapped by newspaper.
Cat to the rescue!
--------
Humans are so strange.
Mine lies still in the bed, then screams!
My claws aren't that sharp....
--------
Cats meow out of angst
"Thumbs! If only we had thumbs!
We could break so much"
--------
Litter box not there
You must have moved it again
I'll crap in the sink
--------
The Big Ones snore now
Every room is dark and cold
time for "Cup Hockey"
--------
We're almost equals
I purr to show I love you
Want to smell my butt.
_________________
The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

oogabooga · pipika Pridružen/-a: 16.12. 2007, 13:50 Prispevkov: 1506

Za vse tiste, ki še ne razumete LOLcats in vse, ki ste tako zavrti, da jih ne znate tolerirati - LOLcats imajo tudi svojo vero in seveda svojo sveto knjigo.
_________________
The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

pixie · Objavljeno: Ponedeljek 21 Jan 2008 12:42 Naslov sporočila:

oogabooga · pipika Pridružen/-a: 16.12. 2007, 13:50 Prispevkov: 1506

Geneza 1

oogabooga · pipika Pridružen/-a: 16.12. 2007, 13:50 Prispevkov: 1506

Razodetje 1

[quote]
1 John haz sum revelashunz. Tehy frum teh Bebeh Jebus, but wuz furst frum Ceiling Cat, an tehy to show what iz comin. Teh Ceiling Cat sended hiz angel to John to give revelashunz. 2 John sez iz all totally troof, zactly what teh Ceiling Cat and Bebeh Jebus sayed. He no lie. Srsly.
[/b]
_________________
The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

Domene | Spletno gostovanje | Reseller gostovanje | EMAIL gostovanje SSL certifikati | Spletne aplikacije na klik | Brezplačna spletna stran (Website Builder) | WordPress gostovanje Spletne strani, brezplačna izdelava in namestitev | Poceni letalske karte | Letalske karte | Poceni hoteli

Domene | Spletno gostovanje | Reseller gostovanje | EMAIL gostovanje
SSL certifikati | Spletne aplikacije na klik | Brezplačna spletna stran (Website Builder) | WordPress gostovanje
Spletne strani, brezplačna izdelava in namestitev | Poceni letalske karte | Letalske karte | Poceni hoteli