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jakačan · Objavljeno: Nedelja 23 Sep 2007 22:55 Naslov sporočila:

Jaka, vaš župnik je pa resnično podoben bogu?
"Kako to misliš?"
"Ob nedeljah je nerazumljiv, čez teden je pa neviden."

jakačan · Objavljeno: Nedelja 23 Sep 2007 22:56 Naslov sporočila:

"Jožica, ali sploh veš koliko bi lahko za svoje grehe zaslužila?" reče župnik pri spovedi.
"Vem, ampak jaz tega ne delam za denar."

jakačan · Objavljeno: Nedelja 23 Sep 2007 23:00 Naslov sporočila:

Mlad župnik se je pogovarjal s starejšim kolegom.
"Kaj vse ne slišim na spovedih. Da mi kar klobuk dviguje!" je rekel mlajši.
"To so začetniške težave, vas, mladih župnikov. Pri spovedi si nikoli ne daj klobuka v naročje!"

jakačan · Objavljeno: Nedelja 23 Sep 2007 23:01 Naslov sporočila:

Moški umira: "Gospod župnik, če vse premoženje zapustim cerkvi, ali bom potem prišel v nebesa?"
"Vsekakor lahko poskusite."

jakačan · Objavljeno: Nedelja 23 Sep 2007 23:05 Naslov sporočila:

Župnik se je na svojem potovanju po svetu ustavil v Lurdu in prižgal svečko za zakonski par iz njegove bivše fare, ki ni mogel imeti otrok. Čez nekaj let je ponovno obiskal zakonski par. Odprl mu je fantek.
"Kje je tvoja mamica?"
"V porodnišnici. Dobil sem osmo sestrico."
"Kje imaš pa očka?"
"Odšel je v Lurd da bo pihnil svečko."

jakačan · Objavljeno: Nedelja 23 Sep 2007 23:06 Naslov sporočila:

Župnik pridiga o grehu in peklu in kaj grešnike čaka v drugem, onostranskem življenju. Tako vneto grozi, da ljudje v cerkvi planejo v jok.
"No, no" jih skuša potolažiti, ko vidi, da jih je preplašil, "morda pa vse skupaj sploh ni res." thumbsup

jakačan · Objavljeno: Nedelja 23 Sep 2007 23:07 Naslov sporočila:

V porodnišnici je rodila mlada žena in ko jo je po porodu obiskal v sobi doktor je planila v jok.
"Doktor, jaz ne vem kaj naj storim! Mož me bo ubil, ko bo izvedel, da imam otroka. Že leto dni je namreč na začasnem delu v tujini in ga ves čas ni bilo domov!" je prestrašeno dejala.
"Bova že našla pametno rešitev," je rekel doktor in zapustil bolniško sobo.
V bolnišnici je ležal tudi katoliški duhovnik, ki so mu ta dan izrezali slepič. Doktor ga je obiskal v sobi in mu rekel:
"Gospod župnik, zgodil se je čudež! Iz vašega trebuha nismo izrezali samo slepiča, ampak smo tam odkrili tudi tegale novorojenčka!" in mu pokazal sina, ki ga je rodila mlada mamica.
Župnik se je najprej začudil, potem pa dejal:
"Če je taka božja volja bom poskrbel za tega otroka!"
Minilo je osemnajst let in mali sinko je postal odrasel fant. Nekega dne ga je župnik poklical k sebi in mu dejal:
"Danes je čas, da ti priznam, da nisem tvoj oče. Jaz sem namreč tvoja mama!"
"Ja, kdo je pa potem oče?" se je začudil mladenič.
"Tvoj oče je župnik iz Bistrice!" Mr. Green

jakačan · Objavljeno: Nedelja 23 Sep 2007 23:09 Naslov sporočila:

Pri verouku Mihec pove župniku:
"Gospod župnik, naš bik je pa Lisko pokavsal!"
"Ja, Mihec! V božjem hramu ne smeš tako grdo govoriti! Reči bi moral, da je Lisko presenetil!"
Naslednji dan se Mihec ponovno oglasi:
"Gospod župnik, naš bik je presenetil Šeko."
"No vidiš, Mihec, da se to lepše sliši.!"
"Ampak, res jo je presenetil, ker je spet Lisko pokavsal." Mr. Green

jakačan · Objavljeno: Nedelja 23 Sep 2007 23:22 Naslov sporočila:

Angela je prišla k spovedi in povedala:
"Oče, grešila sem: mame nisem ubogala, v cerkev sem hodila neredno, nisem molila pred jedjo...""
"In kaj še?" jo vpraša župnik.
"Ja....prst sem vtikala!" je sramežljivo priznala Angela.
"Ja, to so pa kar veliki grehi, zato boš doma zmolila pet očenašev in dve zdravi Mariji!"
Čez nekaj mesecev je Angela zopet prišla k spovedi.
"Oče, grešila sem! Nisem stalno molila pred jedjo, nisem ubogala mame..."
"In kaj še?"
"Ja, pa prst sem tudi vtikala!"
"Joj, joj, le kaj bo s teboj? Prst si vtikala! Že v drugo?"
"Ne, še vedno v isto!"

jakačan · Objavljeno: Nedelja 23 Sep 2007 23:51 Naslov sporočila:

Sedi Irec v pubu in pije, pije.... celo noč. Pred jutrom mu barman reče,
da se pub zapira in mora plačat. Irec plača in pijan hoče vstat, pa pade na nos. Poskusa ponovno, pa isto. Nič, se odloči, da se odplazi ven, da mu bo čisti zrak razbistril glavo. Zunaj se nadiha zraka, ponovno poskuąa vstat, pa zopet pade na fris. Ni druge, kot, da se odplazi domov. Na pol poti se ponovno poskuąa spravit na noge, pa zopet ne gre..
Ko se odplazi do doma, preskoči pranje zob, ker ni dosegel umivalnika,
ampak se komaj povzpne na posteljo in v trenutku zaspi. Zjutraj ga žena zbudi in vpije nanj. Zopet si ga pil v pubu!!! Ma ni govora. Od kje tebi ta ideja? - Klicali so iz puba, da si tam pozabil svoj invalidski voziček.

Poulet On Coq · pipika Pridružen/-a: 22.09. 2007, 17:09 Prispevkov: 829

Poulet On Coq · pipika Pridružen/-a: 22.09. 2007, 17:09 Prispevkov: 829

Romana · pipika Pridružen/-a: 19.08. 2007, 15:48 Prispevkov: 1076

jakačan · Objavljeno: Ponedeljek 24 Sep 2007 15:17 Naslov sporočila:

http://www.afnegunca.com/vici/424/

Klikni puščico, da se naloži posnetek. Je že star, ampak mene vedno v smeh spravi. Kaki bebci ... da ni za govort. In da je imel Kučan take varnostnike, pove nekaj tudi o bivšem prezidentu... Rolling Eyes

kalija · Objavljeno: Ponedeljek 24 Sep 2007 16:40 Naslov sporočila:

jakačan · Objavljeno: Ponedeljek 24 Sep 2007 19:11 Naslov sporočila:

pixie · Objavljeno: Ponedeljek 24 Sep 2007 19:20 Naslov sporočila:

Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one blonde says to the other, 'Which do you think is farther away ... Florida or the moon?'
The other blonde turns and says 'Hellooooo, can you see Florida ??'
**********************************************************

There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank.
'Yoo-hoo!' she shouts, 'How can I get to the other side?'
The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, 'You ARE on the other side.'

************************************************************
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.
'Impossible! ' says the doctor. 'Show me.'
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed;
likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, 'You're not really a redhead, are you?
'Well, no' she said, 'I'm actually a blonde.'
'I thought so,' the doctor said. 'Your finger is broken.'
_________________
Pixie is composed of Matter + Anti-Matter + It Doesn't Matter.

pixie · Objavljeno: Ponedeljek 24 Sep 2007 19:22 Naslov sporočila:

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting!
Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, 'PULL OVER!'
'NO!' the blonde yelled back, 'IT'S A SCARF!'
**********************************************************
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day.
The Russian said, 'We were the first in space!'
The American said, 'We were the first on the moon!'
The Blonde said, 'So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!'
The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. 'You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!' said the Russian.
To which the Blonde replied, 'We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!'
************************************************************

A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named
Rolex and one was named Timex.
Her friend said, 'Whoever heard of someone nam ing dogs like that?'
'HELLLOOOO ....,' answered the blond. 'They're watch dogs
_________________
Pixie is composed of Matter + Anti-Matter + It Doesn't Matter.

pixie · Objavljeno: Ponedeljek 24 Sep 2007 19:31 Naslov sporočila:

mal dalši vic ampak dobr

Dear Wife:

I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever. I've been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell.

Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers.

You ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband and wife.

Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore, whatever the case, I'm gone.

Your EX-Husband

P.S. Don't try to find me. Your SISTER and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!

***

Dear Ex-Husband

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although good man is a far cry from what you've been.

I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining and griping. Too bad that doesn't work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the first thing that came to mind was 'You look just like a girl!'

Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment, And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago!

About those new silk boxers, I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, and I prayed that it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning.

After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone.

Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me.

So take care.

Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell and Free!

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that's not a problem.
_________________
Pixie is composed of Matter + Anti-Matter + It Doesn't Matter.

jakačan · Objavljeno: Ponedeljek 24 Sep 2007 19:50 Naslov sporočila:

Cool.

Domene | Spletno gostovanje | Reseller gostovanje | EMAIL gostovanje SSL certifikati | Spletne aplikacije na klik | Brezplačna spletna stran (Website Builder) | WordPress gostovanje Spletne strani, brezplačna izdelava in namestitev | Poceni letalske karte | Letalske karte | Poceni hoteli

Domene | Spletno gostovanje | Reseller gostovanje | EMAIL gostovanje
SSL certifikati | Spletne aplikacije na klik | Brezplačna spletna stran (Website Builder) | WordPress gostovanje
Spletne strani, brezplačna izdelava in namestitev | Poceni letalske karte | Letalske karte | Poceni hoteli